Raising Kids Who are “Both”: The Teen Years

Our teens need both guidance and grace as they navigate their own faith journeys.

If there were a tried-and-true way to make sure children turned out according to plan, someone would’ve found it by now.

And if they had, I’m sure that many of us would be tempted to follow it; but I hope that none of us actually would. Because isn’t it true that the hardest thing about raising teens—stepping back while they figure it out—is also one of the best things?

Raising Messianic Jewish teens is no different. In my work discipling youth, I’ve had many opportunities to watch and learn as kids navigate the complex layers of their identity. I’ve met teens who are grappling with passing Geometry and simultaneously worried about the antisemitism that keeps coming closer to home. I’ve seen how they experience double the excitement around the holidays—yet they’re often wondering what their Jewish grandparents will think when they visit the other side of the family for Christmas (and vice versa at Hanukkah!).

“Carving out time for our village takes effort, but it’s worth it.”

There is no easy way, but we do know that the only way our youth can navigate all this is precisely that: they learn to navigate it. That involves a delicate balance between both guidance from the loving adults in their life and the space to figure things out on their own.